Hey you lovely lot you,
So… in the UK we’re nearly at our two week mark of isolation, social distancing and, for me and Kyle, working from home. I am not gonna lie to you… it’s been challenging. I think ultimately the main issue is no couple should spend this much time together and it’s causing friction. We’re both a bit worried about everything, stressed as we adjust to a new normal, I am hormonal all the time as I am a woman and Kyle is sassy at times where it is not appreciated 😉
So, I am here today to let you all know, that arguments from time to time, especially when you’re in each others pockets every day with literally no break from them, are normal. It’s fine. It’s the way it goes. It took a lot of worrying from my side to come to this conclusion, but after I spoke to my friends and colleagues in the same boat, it seems everyone is pissing off their significant others and that is just the way it’ll be for now! So, imma share some handy tips with ya’ll to help 1. dull down the arguments, 2. save your sanity and 3. have some fun without your partner if needed, as that is completely fine and normal 😉
1. D I S T A N C E
Yah, you might be in the same house, and yah, you are not able to escape anywhere.. but, you can find space from your partner if you need it. Take yourself into another room to watch something alone, read a book, colour in or take a long shower or a bath. Go for a walk, as you are allowed to do that once a day at the minute, listen to a podcast or music and lose yourself in your own mind for half an hour. If you have the luxury of a garden like we do take yourself outside and tidy the garden, think of some plans for what you want to do, sit on the grass and feel the breeze on your skin. Just remember, distance from your own partner is fine. In times like this, to keep us from losing our minds completely, take time for you and enjoy it. And if your partner get’s sensitive, which luckily mine never does, have the space anyway as they should accept you need you time for you otherwise you will burn out.
2. H O B B I E S
Throughout this madness it can be very easy to forget to take time to do things you enjoy as you feel like you need to spend all of your time with your partner. During lockdown, you will be spending more time with your partner, that’s a given, but don’t feel like you can’t watch what you want, read a book, colour in, blog, or bake just because you’re in lockdown. You had hobbies you enjoyed prior to lockdown and so you should keep enjoying them during, you need to keep your brain all happy and fuzzy, so grab a book, a mug or tea and cosy up for an hour.
You both need your space to recharge and recuperate, especially during this time. So don’t forget to do things that you enjoy at times, it isn’t selfish to want to do that and if anything it’ll help you enjoy the time with your partner more as you’ll be recharged and relaxed! I have been reading a lot, trying to blog where I can, I have started watching Gossip Girl on Netflix (which is probs the best decision I have made in a long time..) and it has really helped keep me more relaxed as I am letting myself recharge. Don’t feel bad for doing what you want to do just because we’re in lockdown, I am sure they get to do their own thing so why not do yours too?
3. D I F F U S I N G A R G U M E N T S
Some arguments, much to my own dismay to admit, are seriously not worth having. Like, they truly are not worth it. If you realise before it’s too late that you or your partner is getting heated over a really stupid reason such as; leaving clothes on the floor in the bedroom, building furniture in a different way to you, the tone of voice they have used… just pause, breathe, and think to yourself ‘Can I be arsed to argue about this, then ignore them for hours, make myself miserable and then go to bed frustrated? Or would I rather watch some Disney+ together, eat dinner and be happy for the evening?’
But seriously, especially when you are in a cage with each other the last thing you wanna do is bite their paw when you can’t escape, and they certainly don’t wanna do that to you either. So breathe, and as my ever so wise (annoying) Mum would say ‘Keep your own counsel.’ (Even though she doesn’t keep her own counsel at all times, but we’ll let that slide.. for now 😉 ).
4. L I S T E N I N G
Listening is always an important part of a relationship, however, as you are spending so much time with your significant other at the minute it is more important than ever to listen to each other. If your partner is asking you for space so they can do what they want, then listen to that. If they are telling you they’re worried, scared or anxious, listen and help them. The last thing you should do is distance yourself so much from your partner that you are ignoring them when you’re in the house together, so make sure you are letting yourself recharge but also balancing that with communication and time spent with each other. If you are wanting to go and read for an hour, just let them know, then they won’t spiral and think you’re annoyed and therefore ignoring them. Tell them what you need, they’ll tell you what they need as well, and all will be well in the world!
Kyle has always needed more affection and attention than me since we got together, and I can easily get lost in a task and ignore him without meaning to, so learning to balance that (especially at the minute) is essential to ensure you are caring for each other. If your partner is asking to watch a film together, chill in the garden with no phones, or go and play on their Xbox without you being there, listen and do what they need. Hopefully they’ll do the same back to you 😉
5. D A T E N I G H T S
‘Whaaaaat?’ I hear you cry?! ‘How on earth are you having date nights when you can’t go outside?! Are you BrEaKiNg the rUlEs?!’.
No, no I am not. You can, and often do without even realising, have a date night at your house. I know… shocking! It isn’t hard tho. Either plan a meal you both really like into the meal plan for that week OR order a cheeky take away, put your phones away, get dressed up if you want or go super casual, choose a film you both want to watch, a game you both want to play, or pop on some music and chat, and just enjoy each others company. Deffo put your phone elsewhere though, the whole point is to be with your partner, not Kim K and Khloe on insta. It is so important to take time for each other during this time, so making sure your phones are away from you is pretty important so you don’t get distracted by group chats, Instagram models or cat memes. Taking time for each other is key to a happy relationship from my own experience, so make sure you dedicate some nights a week where you do that for each other.
Balancing everything in a relationship is hard at the best of times, especially during a lockdown, but try and be kinder to yourself. I know it is challenging being confined at home, and when you have arguments it is even harder as you can’t escape them, but honestly everyone is in the same boat. It is hard, but if you can get through this time together then you can most likely get through anything life throws at each other! Make time for you, make time for your partner, and make time being away from your phone to keep your mind from spiralling too much!
Sending love to you all during this time ❤
Lots of love and speak soon,