Finding the ‘One’?

Hey my beauties ❤

I hope you’re all well and are enjoying the start of the best season of the year… Autumn! Pumpkin spiced lattes are back in shops, corduroy fur lined jackets are back in Primark and spiced apple scented candles have graced the shelves of the shops once again! My happiness level has gone up by 95% as this season is full of my favourite things so you guys had better be enjoying it too!

For this post I thought I would turn up the soppy factor to 100 and talk about how I believe I have found my lifelong partner in Kyle. This may sound insane, but over the past few months I have really been thinking about our relationship, how it is, what we do together, how we mesh.. the list goes on. And, over the past couple of weeks I feel like my eyes have been opened and I have fallen for him all over again. I have noticed the smallest things he does that make me feel comforted, loved, appreciated and cared for and so I thought I would jot down some of the things that make me think I have found my partner in crime until the day I die. I ultimately already knew this before we even started dating, as he is my best friend and I can be 100% myself around him and he loves me for all of it, but why not be super soppy and write down some of the things he does to make me feel loved and wanted? Maybe they’ll match up to what your partner does as well, who knows? But here are some of the reasons why I think Kyle is the ‘one’ I have been searching for ❤

S M I L E S 

I don’t know if it’s just me, if I am being insane or if I am imagining things but I swear Kyle has a special smile that is just for me. Sometimes he makes eye contact with me from across the room, flashes me this adorable smile and I almost feel like I know what he is thinking in that moment. It’s as if he is saying ‘Hey, beautiful. I see you, I haven’t forgotten you.’ It makes my heart sing, it truly does. It’s so funny how something as small as a smile can make me feel 100% at ease and comfortable, but it does. If  he can make me feel that loved, comfortable. at ease and appreciated in just one smile then I don’t understand how I haven’t found my life partner. That smile is my comfort blanket.

‘YOU’RE SO PRETTY’

If you know Kyle at all you know he is one of the most sensitive and soft characters that ever graced the earth. He is like an adorable puppy, he loves to love people and have people give him affection in return. And one of the things Kyle does at least 1000 times a day is say how pretty I am, even when I am NOT pretty in the slightest, like when I am hella hungover or full of cold and have a red snotty nose. Without fail Kyle will tell me out of nowhere how pretty I am, how much he loves me and how happy he is with me. It’s such a small thing, but it means so much. I have never been full of confidence, I have never thought I am that pretty or thought I was worth any form of affection. But for Kyle, of all people on planet earth, to want to tell me that many times I am beautiful I know he is telling the truth for himself. He truly thinks it.. and I never thought I would be with someone who truly thought that about me. And because he says it so often, I am starting to believe him and see positives in myself I haven’t seen before. My confidence levels are growing each day, and Kyle is 100% the reason for that.  How could he not be the one after that ey?

PMS MELTDOWNS

Now this one is a tough one to beat, as you kinda know you’ve found the one for you when they comfort you during a PMS meltdown rather than turning it back onto you and making you feel insane. The emotions you feel before during and sometimes after our monthly fun times are not easy, and mine of late have been insane. I cry over ANYTHING. Only a few months ago I had a breakdown during my mother nature bonding time at the fact it was later on in the evening than I thought.. wtf? So when you can breakdown to your partner, and they simply hug you and tell you everything will be okay.. you know you’ve found someone who will love you no matter what.. and I can’t thank him enough for that. He’s awesome.

BEST FRIENDS

Me and Kyle are extremely lucky as we were incredibly close friends before we even started dating, so we never had to build up a friendship whilst dating each other. However, even if you are friends before anything romantic happens, you can fall into the trap of not letting them in on certain situations as the dynamic has now changed a bit as you’re ‘dating’ and aren’t ‘best friends’ anymore. Me and Kyle didn’t go through that, we have stayed besties from the start and that’s how I know it will work for as long as we wanted it to.  He makes me belly laugh, I can confide my deepest darkest secrets in him, I can turn to him for advise and support on anything, and if I am sad he is the one who makes me feel better. He truly is my best friend, and I can’t love and appreciate him more for putting up with me for nearly 3 years.

MENTAL HEALTH 

When it came to my mental health before me and Kyle were together I kept it very much to myself. I had been in a relationships where I felt like I couldn’t open up to anyone, and therefore I didn’t. However, when me and Kyle started dating he actually asked questions about how I was feeling, I felt I could open up to him about my innermost fears and worries and he actually helped me overcome so many of them. I am not saying I am cured, but being in a relationship with someone who held your hand through the darkness and helped you see the light again is beyond what I ever expected from a life partner, and for that reason I know we can battle anything together as a team.  I never thought I would be able to be 100% myself around someone, to turn to them when I am crumbling or be able to actually explain how I am feeling.. but I am lucky enough to say I have found that.

As you can see, the main things that Kyle does to make me feel loved, wanted, cared for and appreciated are not him buying me loads of presents or doing extravagant things. It is him caring for me as a human, and before Kyle I had never really had that from a relationship. Being able to be 100% myself around another human is so freeing, I haven’t really ever had a relationship where I felt I could be like this so it is incredible to have this now.
So, now that I have bored you with how adorable Kyle is, here are my top 5 things to remember when trying to keep a relationship alive after a long period of time (3 years to me is pretty long as its the longest relationship I have ever had 😉 )

1. Communication 
always remember to talk to each other. Put your phone away for a couple of nights in the week, talk one-on-one with each other and remind yourself why you’re together. It is so easy to get sucked into your phone and forget to talk to your partner. So try and focus on them as well as your phone, life can get in the way sometimes, but always try and come back to one another.

2. Date nights 
by date night I don’t mean fancy restaurants, cinema dates or going out for drinks. You can easily have a cheap date night at home with some snacks, a couple of drinks with booze you ultimately have in the house and a film on Netflix. Just remember to dedicate time to the person you love, it’s easy to forget to especially if you live together!

3. Space 
although spending time together is fab and is what should happen in a relationship, spending time away with your own friends or doing your own hobbies is also extremely important. You are both individuals at the end of the day, don’t neglect or forget what you once enjoyed just because you now have a partner! Time away from each other is healthy and normal, so don’t feel guilty for it!

4. Never sleep on an argument
simple yet effective. Arguments happen, even in what looks like the happiest relationships arguments happen. It’s normal. If they are happening every single day over the smallest things, that’s maybe not as normal, but if they are every now and again and not catastrophic they’re normal. Talk it out, clear the air and try to resolve it before going to bed. Don’t let petty disagreements impact days or weeks of your relationship, it isn’t worth it.

5.  I love you 
Simple yet effective. Once you have been together for a while you may forget to let your partner know that you do care for them, love them and appreciate them. Tell them. They may not need reassurance on this, but it is always nice to hear it. I don’t think many people would be upset or hurt by hearing that the person they love also loves them back.

So there you have it, my extremely soppy post about love and my favourite human Kyle. Sometimes it is good to remember that love isn’t about buying each other a load of presents or being super extravagant. Simple gestures say more than any present could in my opinion and I just wanted to make a note of them to remind myself when he is annoying the hell out of me 😉
What does your partner do that makes you feel loved, wanted and special? Do they have a special smile just for you?

Lots of love & talk soon,

Laura xo

 

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