Hey you guys!
I know it’s been a while.. and it is especially embarrassing after me writing a blog post about keeping up blogging.. then stopped blogging. How ironic! But hey, I am back (for now) so thought I would try and add blogging back in my hobbies! I ain’t promising anything this time around though, I am gonna keep the pressure off and see how it goes!
So, for my first post back after an overly extended hiatus I thought I would talk about me ‘falling off the wagon’ as it were with my Slimming World journey. But, in preparation for this post I decided to look back through my Slimming World book to see what weight I have been over the past few months and give or take a few pounds I have been skirting around the same weight since Christmas. This actually really shocked me, as I am a pro at beating myself up about my weight, especially if I have treated myself that bit too much! So, rather than talking about ‘falling off the wagon’, as ultimately according to my weight I haven’t (yipee!) I thought I would talk about how I am going to change my mindset with food and try and slowly ease myself back to where I was this time last year with my eating.
Overall, as my weight tracker is highlighting, I haven’t been off track all that much over the past 8 months. HOWEVER, I have been treating myself too much and too often. I have also fallen into a strange and V E R Y destructive habit of pushing the boundaries to see how much it affects my weight gain. I will happily overly treat myself “just to see” how much weight I gain, and if I get away with it or even LOSE weight that week then I take that as a one way ticket to Treatsville… a place full of jelly beans, chocolate, popcorn and cheese (sounds kinda dreamy though, doesn’t it? 😉 ).
BUT, this is all about to change. I need to stop lying to myself, I need to refocus and remember that I am doing this for myself, so WHY ON EARTH am I sabotaging myself by overly indulging, then beating myself up for maintaining or gaining, then repeating the cycle as I’m now sad I have maintained or gained… you get the idea.
So, here is my action plan, pals. Are ya ready? (I’m deffo not ready as I love jelly beans, chocolate, popcorn and cheese…)
1. No more SW Meetings
The meetings, for me anyway, we NOT helping anymore. The structure of the meeting I went to was the same week-in-week-out and I was bored. I hated having to ‘justify’ or be scaled for gaining weight, and I especially hated explaining how I lost weight.
It was odd, it made me feel weird and it generally wasn’t helping me anymore. I feel like if I remove the group aspect I will be able to remember that I started this journey for ME and if I am not enjoying an aspect of it, I can leave. And that’s what I have done. I am not saying I am never going back, but for now I am happy not going.
2. Stop the ‘treat yoself’ mentality
Now… if you know me you know I am obsessed with sugar. Sweets, chocolate, cake, brownies, sugar straight from the bag, Nutella straight from the jar… gimme! BUT, This is my downfall and I KNOW IT IS. So, my eyes are open, I know I need to avoid the sweet sugary deliciousness as much as possible. I can have SOME treats, but not whole bags of popcorn as that ain’t okay! I need to try and stay focused, focus on low syn treats and remember why I am doing this. It’s for the long run, it’s for my own mental health, my own confidence, my own physical health… so put down the jelly beans, Laura!
I have had a weight target in mind since I started this journey. I haven’t really told anyone, as I didn’t want to/wasn’t asked, but I know in my head roughly where I want to be. So I need to focus, remember that and never go backwards.
I think I am also going to print some photos of myself from when I was my heaviest to remind myself that I don’t want to go back… if that doesn’t stop me from gorging on sugar nothing will.
The more I beat myself up, cry over eating a full bag of popcorn and hate myself for maintaining or even gaining weight, the more negativity I am pumping into this whole journey which is making me resent it. I am doing this for GOOD reasons, I am doing it for my happiness and health, it’s a positive thing not a negative thing. So I cannot beat myself up for having fun, for going out for peoples birthdays or having a nice meal out once in a while. Those are good things, they add to my life and make me happy. I just need to remember to get back on track wherever possible ❤
So, overall, I am really trying to remind myself of why I am doing this, where I want to be and how to do it. I just HOPE I can keep positive about it, and remember to do this for me and no one else 🙂
So, to keep me on track, here are some photos of where I am now to keep in mind that I am doing well (even though I like to tell myself I’m not), I have come a long way and I can continue this journey and do well with it!
Lots of love & talk soon,