It is Okay Not to be Okay.

A few months ago I wrote a more personal post about my mental health and what I am doing to work on it and try and improve it. I thought I would share some tips I have picked up along the way to try and help some of you who may be in a similar position, who need a pick me up, or who need to know they’re not alone.
I will be sharing my things to remember and how I pull myself from the brink of a panic attack, anxiety attack, and how I try to remind myself that I am worth it and there are people who love me.

1. Find Something You Love. 

This could be anything from reading, to swimming, to making music or to walking around cobble streets. Find something that makes you happy and nothing else. Find something that is yours.
Weirdly, writing this blog really helps me to focus my mind on days where I am feeling a bit all over the place, down or generally quite lonely. I feel like I am talking to people, I feel like I have a purpose and I feel like I am doing something positive.
Doing something that you enjoy, that is yours, is so important to pull you through those days when you don’t want to do or see anyone. It can help you feel like you have really achieved something, because you have. You got up, you did an activity and you enjoyed it. A tiny glimmer of happiness in a day is better than none at all. Focus on that.

2. Small Steps. 

With my anxiety I find simple things like going shopping alone a struggle. I feel like people are staring at me or judging me as I am alone and not with a friend. This is a huge obstacle that is conquered by a simple ‘so what’ thought process. My Mum always tells me to not care, to look straight back at people and smile. Turning something you find terrifying into your own kind of positive is a small step to conquering huge obstacles.
I won’t lie, I struggle with this still, I still find it incredibly difficult to get myself out of my flat by myself, however, I am working on it and these are all small steps.
Praise yourself for the small steps, they may seem minuscule to others around you, or even yourself, but they are all part of the bigger picture.
Working through mental health issues is a journey, not a race. There is no quick fix. Small steps ❤

3. Setting Goals. 

This sounds stupid, but it helps me work through days. These goals don’t have to be huge or life changing to others, these are for you. You don’t even have to share them with anyone, as long as you know they are there and try and complete at least one a day, you’re winning already.
Mine start from as small as ‘getting ready’ to ‘going shopping alone’. These goals will differ from person to person, but, as long as you do one, how have you lost? Don’t write a list as long as your arm, think of three, or two and see how many you can work through. When you finish a day and you have completed one, reflect and praise yourself on that. Do not dwell on the fact you didn’t complete them all, no one completes a full to-do list in a day. Be happy and have joy in your victories, no matter how small.

4. Find Happiness in Every Day. 

This one, I will admit, is really fucking hard. Some days you feel like the world is against you and nothing is going right. I get that, that is most of my days. However, this can be something as small as seeing some ducks on a river, to how pretty the clouds looked, to a nice cashier in a shop having a little chat with you and making you laugh.
I don’t mean having the best day of your life everyday, I just mean finding something that will pull you into the next day with a smoother landing, something to get up for, go outside for and smile about when you are feeling your most vulnerable. Anything, just find something that makes you forget things for a while ❤

5. Knowing it is Okay to Not Be Okay. 

Sometimes you won’t be able to work through any of the above, you just want to sit and cry, ignore everyone and feel sad. And that is okay. It is okay to not be okay. You are human, you don’t have to have everything together all of the time.
When people see that you’re down, anxious or struggling they really try to pull you out of it, they remind you of things which won’t make a difference and try and comfort you when all you want is to not be okay. I get that, and so do so many others.
When you do feel like that, make sure you look after yourself. Drink plenty, eat, try and sleep and prepare for another day. Tomorrow is a new day, not everyday will be as hard as this one. Remember that.

Everyone has their own daily struggles, no one is perfect, and no one is as happy as their social media makes them out to be. Just look after you and try your best. That is all anyone can ever ask of you. I hope this post helps someone to know that they are not alone and maybe gives them a few tips on how to cope.
It is okay not to be okay.

Talk soon,

Laura xo

2 thoughts on “It is Okay Not to be Okay.

  1. twentysomethingtenacity says:

    I think ‘knowing it’s okay to not be okay’ is one of the most helpful lessons I’ve learned in the last ten years. Some how, simply accepting that I’m not always going to feel good or that good days can’t last forever has truly helped me manage bad days.

    Thanks for this wise list 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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